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TABLE OF CONTENTS
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1. FEATURE STORY: Overcoming JEALOUSY and other Crappy Feelings!

2. SPOTLIGHTED LEARNING TOOL: Success Secrets of the Rich & Happy
"Somebody finally put a positive spin on being rich!"

3. DISCOUNTS THIS WEEK

4. CONTACT US:

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FEATURE STORY : Overcoming Jealousy and other Crappy Feelings!
By Bart Baggett - Author of Success Secrets of the Rich & Happy
Edited by Cindy Little
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How to Deal with negative emotions such as rejection,
jealousy, sorrow, and anger.
________
SUMMARY OF ARTICLE:
Any negative emotion can be diffused or eliminated by asking
the proper questions. Story of Clint's jealousy stemming from
his ex-girlfriend sleeping with another man. How you can
benefit from having better self-control over your own internal
dialogue.

________
Which is better self-talk?:
"Why is she such a vindictive bitch?" OR...
"What lesson is there for me to learn from this experience?"
(Sorry about the cussing, but it really is typical self-talk.)

_________
If you had a chance to read chapter 14 of my latest
book The Success Secrets of the Rich and Happy,
the concept of asking empowering questions will be
familiar to you. If not, I encourage you to take a few
moments and read this short, three-page chapter on-line
here.

https://www.handwritinguniversity.com/newsletters/101204a.html

FEATURE STORY:

This article is a follow-up that expands on this remarkably
effective mental technique for drastically improving your
level of happiness.

Some of my 'Weekly Strokes' readers may be surprised
that I would discuss concepts other than 'handwriting
analysis' in the newsletter. Those readers obviously have
not actually purchased any of our books or courses.

Handwriting is just an effective tool to lead you toward
your ultimate goals... a happier life with more fulfilling
relationships and more abundance!

So, keeping an eye on that outcome, there should be no
surprise as to why this week's newsletter is focused on
one outcome: creating positive emotions from crappy
situations.

Ask yourself this question. How do you know when
you are happy? For most people, "When I feel happy" is
the answer. And, what makes you feel happy? The truth
is the 'external world' doesn't make you 'feel happy'... the
external world starts a chain reaction of thoughts, mental
images, internal dialogue, and even chemical reactions that
ultimately result in the feeling of happiness, rage, joy,
arousal, or jealousy.

Most people spend their energy trying to control the
outside world to attain happiness...which obviously results
in frustration. The fact is... the more you try to control the
outside world, the more it controls you. The only real,
lasting happiness comes when you learn to effectively
influence your own internal processes consciously, in the
times that your external world isn't behaving as you
would like.

Let's face it: most of us can be happy when everything
is going well. (If not, get some anti-depression medicine,
quickly!)

Before I tell this short story, ask yourself this question.
When was the last time you had a 'negative emotion'
that really got under your skin and you couldn't seem to
quickly let it go? Was it last week when your teenager
didn't come home by curfew, your boss chewed you out,
your lover cheated on you, or some a-hole cut you off in
traffic? Think about that event.

Once the event is over, why are you still upset? The
reason is simple; we play the movie, over and over and
over in our head. For many, it would be the soundtrack
or conversation. And while we watch this movie we ask
dis-empowering questions.

Here is a great example. This one I'm sure you can all
relate to at sometime in your past. My close friend Clint
came to me one week with a slightly broken heart. He had
spent a few romantic days with an ex-girlfriend and sparked
all those loving emotions that had been dormant since their
break up last year.

Then, suddenly, within days of confessing her love for him,
she cut it all off and wanted to 'just be friends' again. Ouch!

Okay, logically, he could deal with that. There were solid
reasons she was his ex-girlfriend. However, about two
days after they decided to just be friends, she slept with
another guy (that she just met), and obviously found some
joy in letting him know. Ouch! Ouch! What's worse, Clint
had had dinner with the two of them that night.
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!!!!

So, Clint's problem was simple. He felt pain that many
would call rejection, loss of love, or even jealousy. Part
of him interpreted the events like this, "She reeled me in,
made love to me, cut off the affection, then screwed another
man and flaunted it. Ouch." That may not be reality, but
one can see how he might feel that way.

Now you may be thinking 'Why would Clint want to be
with a woman like that?' Wrong question. If I would have
asked that question he would be forced to find reasons he
wanted to be with her... despite her behavior. Logic doesn't
always apply where the heart is concerned.

When I probed as to the exact mental process that was
causing the knots in his stomach... it wasn't the 'loss of her
affection'... he had no visual image of that. He kept replaying
the movie of her seducing and having sex with that guy. My
advice was simple, "Clint, stop watching that movie! Turn it off."
Clint honestly said, "I don't know how. I wake up in the middle
of the night and my mind is running it over and over. How do
I turn off the sounds and pictures?"

Well, you can't just NOT watch something. Just like you
can't NOT think of a pink elephant. The brain must be pushed
in the direction you want it to go instead of trying to NOT go in
the wrong direction. If you try to 'Not see something in your mind,'
you put the exact thought into your head that you don't want to see.
That 'movie' or that 'thing' must appear for you to 'not' look at it.

After discussing the various elements of their relationship, the
reasons it wasn't a good fit at that time, and the various intentions
of her behaving the way she did... I had a solution.

First, Clint was 'conscious' enough not to focus his energy on
'changing the outside world.' He wasn't scheming to get her
back or hurt her. He just wanted to move on...and the pain was
getting in the way of his happiness. (And his eight hours of sleep
for that matter.)

Second, Clint has a belief that he can find positive lessons
in any event. So, his desire for personal growth was the key
to turning this 'crappy' event into a learning experience.

I asked Clint what 'soundtrack ' was playing in his head when
he watched the movie of the two of them having sex. He said
the words were "Ouch. Why does she want to hurt me?
What is the reason for this? What could I have done differently?
This guy doesn't deserve her affection. Etc."

Many therapists would attempt to change the submodalities
of the actual movie images (make them black and white,
small screen, etc.) ... but in Clint's case, the images were
appearing spontaneously in his sleep and throughout the day.

So, I simply had him meditate on the images while saying this
to himself over and over again: "What lesson is there to be
learned here and what positive empowering emotion can I
feel right now as a result of this event?"

After asking this question over and over again... he said
the painful jealous emotions neutralized almost immediately.
He said he began to see the image in his head and hear
words like "karma, fairness, her issues, whatever, it's not
about me, move on, find the learning, etc." And, he said
he began to feel emotions such as "compassion, boredom,
appreciation, empathy, and learning."

Clint never turned that event into rip roaring laughter, but
he did turn that event into a learning experience where,
today, his negative emotions are not stopping him, and he
is finding positive meaning in an otherwise 'crappy' situation.

He will most likely take what he learned into his next
relationship and have more trust, compassion, and quite
frankly... less issues with any jealousy because he had
it in his face, and he handled it quickly and effortlessly.
You know what they say, "Face your fear, and it no
longer controls you."

I left out many of the issues and details for the
sake of simplifying this story. In a nutshell her
behavior might have been a bit of payback for
an event when they were dating last year, fear
of intimacy, or just some bad choices on both
their parts to re-establish a relationship when
they weren't ready. They had other unresolved
issues that are unimportant to the story.

The bottom line is... he turned a VERY difficult
situation into a positive learning experience by
asking better questions. Remember, it wasn't
about the 'logic' or 'reasons' it was about
controlling the internal processes and thoughts!

So, here is your assignment. Notice your own
internal self-talk next time you have a negative
emotion. Find out how you can change the
emotion by just changing the question. Here
are some examples.

Get cut off in traffic. "I wonder what is going
wrong in his life?" (It's not about you.)

Your teenager comes home late. "I wonder what
I can do to create more appreciation and respect
in our family."

Your husband cheats on you. "What positive
lesson and emotion can I find in this situation that
will make my life happier in the long-run?"
(This is a very tough situation, but it beats the
other, self-defeating questions most people ask.)

Remember that your level of life satisfaction is really
just an average of your daily levels of positive emotions.
If you can't influence your emotions effectively, you
can't be happy all the time. And, ask yourself this,
"What decisions would I have to make in order to
be happy all the time?"

You can learn more about the concepts of 'Happiness'
and 'Emotional Abundance' in our home study course
Success Secrets of the Rich and Happy, Live Seminar
Course and book.
http://www.myhandwriting.com/abundance/

I love getting your e-mail feedback. Thanks for reading
Weekly Strokes, and keep those t-bars high!

Bart Baggett

Post your feedback about this article here, at our F.R.E.E.
Bulletin Board:
https://www.handwritinguniversity.com/cgi-bin/mboard/index.html

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SPOTLIGHTED LEARNING TOOL
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The Success Secrets of the Rich & Happy

435 page self-improvement book relating to
wealth and emotional prosperity.
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- Joe Vitale, author of "Spiritual Marketing" and
the Nightingale-Conant best-seller,
"The Power of Outrageous Marketing"

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HandwritingUniversity.com
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[email protected]

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