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Are You Huggable or Buggable? by Kathi McKnight
Are you poised for conflict? Poised for hurt? In other words, are you poised and ready to be defensive? Look for this in the letter "t." It shows up as a loop in the t-stem. It's perfectly natural to lapse into occasional bouts of defensiveness, for all of us. But it is tremendously damaging when it becomes commonplace. Oversensitivity, being thin skinned and overreacting to what others say, jumping to conclusions, getting feelings hurt with regularity...these are all dangerous to our peace and well-being. It's hard to be around someone like that for any extended period of time. Anybody know anybody like that?? (Couldn't be in your own handwriting, right?) Becoming too entrenched in defensiveness can be dangerous at a collective level as well. We can ruin economies and ecologies and even destroy peace. In our personal lives, we can get rigid and inflexible and become so closed we don't receive constructive criticism or allow peaceful relationships and real intimacy. Defensiveness attracts the very conflict and hurt that it is defending against. For example, the defensive person is Hurt just waiting to happen and Conflict just waiting to happen. Do other people push your buttons? How about your mother – does she push your buttons? There is an old joke that says, "Well she has a right to...she's the one who sewed them on you!" By the way, the mother influence shows up in the personal pronoun letter I. The amount of influence is shown by the loop (or lack thereof) in the top part of the letter. If you are an eternal student of human behavior or of handwriting analysis, you have the opportunity to take that knowledge deeper. Do something constructive with it to help bring about constructive change on the planet with your knowledge. In the "Course of Miracles" it says, "If I defend, I am attacked." When we are poised to defend, we attract or magnetize attack. It may take some time to digest that one. There is a book called, "The Four Agreements," written by Don Miguel Ruiz. The second of the four agreements says to never ever take anything personally. If this is the first time you have heard that concept, that can be a real stretch. When we take things personally, we feel offended, and our reaction to offense is to defend our beliefs.
We make something big out of something so little. We have the need to be right and make everyone else wrong. "Don't go mountain climbing over molehills." May I invite you to do some grapho-therapy in your handwriting. Especially if you have a loop in your t-stem Replace all t's with a retraced t-stem and what the heck, go ahead and cross it high and long on the t-bar, adding charisma and high goals and high self esteem to the mix! Go for the gusto.
Do you know why we take things personally? Because, on a deeper level, we actually agree with whatever was said. I know, not what you wanted to hear. You've heard the saying about when you point a finger at someone else, you have three fingers pointing back at yourself?? Well it ain't just an old wives' tale. The very moment that we agree with whatever was said about us, we let a poison run through us. And that poison is called personal importance. It is the maximum level of selfishness, assuming that everything is about "me." When there is a need to be right, everything can seem like a personal attack. NOTHING other people do is because of you. It is because of their own lives. Even if they attack you personally, it really isn't about you. It is based on their own lens, through which they see the world. Through their own eyes and their belief systems and their own filters. Don't claim it as yours, it is their stuff. Even if they intend it for you, you don't have to own it. Stay mindful that it is about that other person and stay mindful about yourself. Simple stuff, but not easy stuff. What can help you implement this change and anchor it inside of you? Work with a mindful, professional graphologist. Take the grapho-therapy program seriously and do it for the full 30 days. Then use this mantra, every time you take things personally (even if you don't have a loop in your t, because we all do it at some level or another) "This isn't about me. (The rhyming poetry will make it more fun to do. Just like taking a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down. (Any Mary Poppins fans out there?) The payoffs can be grand. Living with a sensitive t or a sensitive d can be a life lived in quiet desperation and a very private hell. We also think that our fears and insecurities are easily hidden. They aren't. Did you know that statistics say that up to 93% of communication is nonverbal? We aren't so very hidden from one another. We also are not so very different from one another. No matter what country or nation or political belief you adhere to, human beings are truly one big ol' family. And speaking of the letter "d"...............
"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation." This letter holds a lot of information. The amount of space in the loop of the letter d tells the degree of sensitivity and perhaps self-consciousness a person has regarding their physical self. Their weight, their clothes, their body, their hair, etc. A loop in the d-stem also tells us the writer is not taking good care of their body. For example, they may need to quit smoking, they may need to eat better, they may need to be getting more rest, they may need some vitamins, they may need to get off of some of their over-medicated prescriptions, they may need to eat less potato chips and drink less beer and eat more vegetables.......you get the picture. As logic would have it, the larger the loop in the d-stem, the more self-consciousness they have, and the more need there is to pay attention to the needs of their body and listen to their body's wisdom. When it is a really large loop, this is most sad. I'm not going to mince words here. That is one of the seven signs of suicide, and can border on paranoia. It is also based on a very deep, very emotional scar or pain. Be mindful with these folks. It is a serious cry for love. I highly recommend working with a very good graphologist and or healthcare practitioner. Get started on grapho-therapy and emotional healing. It's a painful way to live when this is in one's handwriting; but do know that there is always hope. When you are loving and content with yourself, you see the world around you with loving eyes. I often use the quote, "To know others is intelligent, but to know self is enlightened." Wayne Dyer tells a story of walking along the beach one day and someone coming up to him and striking up a conversation, saying "Hi. I just moved here from Chicago, Illinois. I was wondering, what are the people like in this neighborhood? Because, where I came from, man, people are hostile and self-centered and always in a rush and it was a dog eat dog city." Wayne calmly says, "Oh, you'll pretty much find it the same way here." They respond "Oh, okay," and walk away. Then, a little further down the shoreline, another person comes over to him and says, "Hi, I just moved here from Podunk, Iowa and I'm new to this area, and I was wondering what the people are like around here. Because, where I came from, everybody was great. So friendly, small town feeling, you could count on your neighbors..." And Wayne Dyer calmly replies, "Oh, you'll pretty much find it the same way here." They say,"Thanks," and walk away. Why did he do that? Because everyone is our mirror and we carry our own reality with us...how we view the world, through our own lens, everywhere we go; and chances were high that the first person would find their new environment just like their last. They would see people through that lens, and the second person would be seeing the good in those she met, creating her reality and carrying it with her to this new place as well. A suggestion: don't use defensiveness as a reason to hoist your own issues on another. When you see this in another's handwriting, know it is a deep cry for love. There is a deep pain there. Have compassion for this person. We all mirror each other anyway. If a defensive person pushes your buttons, it is merely a mirror of some place inside of yourself that is calling out for attention. You are a miracle just by the fact of being alive. It's been said that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. You are a channel of a greater power that you can use and tap into at every single moment of every single day. This very moment. There is great power in this NOW moment. No matter what you have thought or played out, you are a being of soundness of mind, not a puppet of other people's stuff. Nobody can tell you who you are. "No one can make you feel inferior without
your consent." Do suggested grapho-therapy and choose the high road. What is the high road you may ask? Well how about letting it look like YOU are following your own purpose and your own vision in your life? That is tremendously more fulfilling than being stuck in defensiveness and being a slave to being vulnerable to criticism, as is depicted in loops in the letter's t and d. When in doubt, simply ask yourself, "Do I want to be right or do I wish to have peace?" Consider that you don't have to get self-importance at the expense of anybody else, no matter what dumb thing they have done. You are already important, and vital. Do the recommended grapho-therapy that you or your graphologist recommends, then just get busy shining your own light. If you are ready to get a tune-up in your own handwriting or want more information on just how to be empowered to shine your own light, that's what I do and have done for well over a decade in my own private practice. To order a private graphology reading and personalized grapho-therapy session, http://www.kathimcknight.com/prices.html To be put on a waiting list for the release of my CD program called "The 5 Minute MindSpa," send an email to [email protected] and put "5 Minute MindSpa" in the subject line. Also, if you haven't signed up yet, Bart is coming to my city, Denver, Colorado on Saturday, June 25th to give an all day workshop. Sign up here: http://myhandwriting.com/seminars/ This class was extremely good and awesome. I heard Bart describe my trait over the internet and I had to come to the New York Seminar. It was much more than I expected. I would have regretted it if I missed it. Pedro Santos, Architect It is guaranteed to be a jam- packed, sit-on-the-edge-of-your-seat, fun-filled, highly intriguing day. Bart has asked me to give our recently sold out tele-seminar, the 9 Secret Sex Traits Found in Handwriting, live in person. If you haven't signed up yet, its not too late to get your ticket. Just c/ick here. http://myhandwriting.com/seminars Kathi is a very insightful & interesting instructor.
She is lively and helpful. The class subject matter
contained obscure knowledge that we felt lucky
to learn. Definitely cutting-edge material
well-worth knowing--because it can help a
person understand the opposite sex from an
entirely new perspective. Her class offers a
great benefit for anyone trying to understand
someone on a deeper level. I hope to see you there! Namaste, Kathi McKnight
Kathi McKnight is a master certified international Graphologist, professional speaker and freelance writer.
SPOTLIGHTED LEARNING TOOL: Graphotherapy Kathi suggested you practice writing your t-stems retraced, with long, high t-bars, to improve your ability to handle criticism, and your self-esteem and enthusiasm.
Well, this course will help you do just that, and make it a permanent positive change. You'll also discover what other personality traits you might want to change or improve. Find out all about Graphotherapy and your road to self-improvement through your handwriting and your mind, here: http://www.myhandwriting.com/change/chlf30dy.html http://www.myhandwriting.com/change/kidsbook.html P.S. We have courses specifically geared for both children and adults, so be sure to check both links. "Each day, I practiced certain letters, and within 30 days my writing got neater. I got better grades and improved my concentration to study for tests and do schoolwork." "In less than a month after changing my handwriting the way Bart suggested, things started to happen. I got rid of an abusive boyfriend, got better grades, and met my fiance. That was six years ago. The changes have helped me accomplish two degrees and a wonderful relationship. As a bonus, it was easy."...Christian Chrane, Dallas, T
STUDENT TESTIMONIALS: This seminar provides every tool necessary to move forward from wherever you might be right now. We all have so much that we have dealt with in our past that we need to clean house in our brains and release all the pent up energy. You must do this for yourself, and everyone you care about. I look forward to being a better me. Sharon R. Hampton, The seminar was excellent! It was both very informative and lots of fun. Bart is a very dynamic speaker and very entertaining. The content of the seminar was an excellent introduction to handwriting psychology and an excellent enrichment for the more advanced students. Greg Papa, Student Hi Bart! Using the skills I was able to acquire in just one day, I will feel much better equipped to assess new clients in my Legal Nurse Consulting Practice! In fact, I cannot think of an individual working with the public who would not immediately benefit by applying these essential skills that you have made both fun and easy to acquire. Your enthusiasm is infectious, and that you further promote clear living and prosperity to all whom you encounter, is the unadvertised bonus for those of us smart enough and fortunate to take this course. Who could not benefit? Great job! Best wishes,
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