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How to overcome the fear of success
Isn't it amazing to realize you can glance over someone's shoulder to discover from just one letter the size and quality of someone's sex life? (And it's true.)
Imagine yearning to succeed, but being deathly afraid of success. It happens. It's called the fear of success (AKA self-sabotage).
Now, this is not a trait that makes you a horrible person. But what it does do is cram your life with mediocrity and underachievement. If you have it in your handwriting - you MUST change it.
Do you understand what I'm talking about? It's not that you just decide "I don't want it." Sometimes
something just happens. The person who has this trait will say, "Somebody messes it up for me. I have an accident. I get sick."
This trait is more common in women's writing than in men's writing (probably 3 times more common); and my theory as to why this is true, is because men were programmed differently about the significance of "success." As little boys, we either win first or we get no reward. Boys are much more competitive than women, which is one reason why women tend to be better team players. There are always exceptions to my theory, but this is just my theory.
What I find is that many little girls actually get more affection / attention for failing. "Oh, it's okay, honey. We love you no matter what." If a little girl gets more love and affection for coming in second, third, or fourth - the pattern could be set.
Click PLAY to listen to how one woman conquered her fear of success
I once met a woman that had this trait. This woman, Carolyn, had more than a few stories to tell. She had walked up to the altar twice and the groom stood her up, twice.
Now you can say, "Bad choice in grooms." Maybe. But why did she choose that? Because, at some level she wanted to sabotage her own success. And then what did her parents do? Her parents said, "It's okay, honey. Let's go to Europe. It's okay. We love you anyway. " The parents gave her a first class ticket to Europe and rewarded her for her failure. Her life was a mess in many more ways.
Remember, the y MUST not reach the baseline to qualify. The diagram (y) to the left indicates a sense of dejection/fear of success. If it crosses the baseline - the stroke doesn't count as "self-sabotage." It's not really good news - but it isn't a huge red flag...
This self-sabotage of your life occurs unconsciously. Most people will not even know it is their fault. Life Happens. So if you've got this little down turned y, it means that at some level you have a slight fear of success. Now, of all the things I have people change, this is the one suggestion that most people do NOT complete. Why is that? Because they're afraid of what will happen. What if this really works? It's all going to change for me. My life is not working now, but if I change, it might get worse - or it might get better, which would give me even more things to deal with.
I wrote a workbook called Change Your Handwriting, Change Your Life in 30 Days and it will change your life. Like a journal, you write in it every day. And because of the repetition and discipline, it actually begins to affect the unconscious mind. Most of you would just say, "Okay, I'm going to remember this." But a week later you may forget which letters I am talking about. The people that finish the 30-day program see results.
Here are two more examples of how NOT TO make your y-loop.
A Success Story
Jenny Hathaway is such a dear friend of mine. (Her handwriting is not pictured.) About five years ago, she sent me a resume and cover letter that said, "I'd like to work for your company. I'm moving to Dallas." She's a self-improvement person. She had been volunteering for Deepak Chopra managing self-improvement seminars. Naturally, I said, "Fax me your handwriting."
Absolutely not. I've been more strict about that than a first date. You ought to try this: "Before I ask you out, can I have a sample of your handwriting?" Very, very romantic. That's a true story. That's how I met my last girlfriend. I said, "I'm sorry. I think you're cute and all, but give me a napkin and a pen before I get into this." And she had big y loops - so I was very happy. Back to the story.
Jenny faxed me, and she had the down turned y She had everything else. She had great integrity. She had good self-image. She was honest. She was smart. She had everything I wanted in an employee but she had a down turned y. And I said, "Jenny, I have found that people with the self-sabotage end up not working out for some reason. Something happens. And you have all these great traits. And I'm going to ask you about this and tell me if this is true." She said, "Bart, the strangest thing. Of the last three companies that I've worked for, all three went bankrupt." Oh, come work for me. [LAUGHS] Yeah, when can you start? Sure.
Now, it hit her that, even though she didn't cause these companies to go bankrupt, she selected companies that had a pretty good chance at some level of not achieving, because she was afraid of too much success. And she says, "I'll tell you what, Bart. I will change my handwriting. And in 30 days if my y is changed, let me do a test run for you." I said, "Okay," and she literally faxed me three or four pages a day of y's going straight up. I mean she was serious about this. Thirty days later, she had moved to Dallas. I met with her then, and she's been a great friend ever since; and she helped me with one of my seminars. She did a very good job. Then, about a month later, she got a call from Deepak Chopra. He said, "Jenny, I've been watching you interview, and I think it's time now that you take over my entire seminar business nationwide and worldwide." She went, "Wow!" And of course, she jumped on it. And I wanted her to jump on it. Deepak has more opportunities than I did at that time.
She told me, "Bart, what I did with your advice is what changed my life, because I had never attracted those types of opportunities before.
I had always sabotaged it." Of course, she had to move again. She had to pick up and change her life, but she had the confidence now.
She did it and she attracted it. And it's interesting, because she had had a relationship with Deepak for many years but for some reason, he never
noticed her. Then, all of a sudden, he noticed her. Next time you attend a Deepak Chopra seminar - ask for Jenny.
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