Honey, why do you fear? It’s just a tear (Virginity )

By Vishwas Heathcliff

“Virginity is not a matter of dignity; it’s a lack of opportunity.” I don’t know who said it first, but it’s quoted very often to disparage the distance between a human being and the sinful Apple. This “Absolute Truth” was introduced to me by an ex-girlfriend in Calcutta about three years ago. Giving me a cold and hard stare, the sweet girl had made the remark after I nodded (with the virginal innocence of a squirrel) in response to her simple query: “Are you virgin?”

For two reasons I could not figure out why she asked that or what she wanted from me. First, I don’t have her handwriting sample and secondly, I did not know then how to analyse handwriting. Our relationship was ephemeral as I left the City of Joy and we were more than reluctant to run an STD relationship, assisted by SIM cards, keypads and “touch”-screens.

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Last week, a similar question on the MDTV (Most Desired Trait Called Virginity) by a good friend sent me into delirious, stomach-bursting laughter. My friend also said she had been thinking of asking me the question for the past few months, but felt too shy. Her question was: Can handwriting analysis reveal whether a person is virgin? I told her I would answer this question on my blog. So here is the answer. (Now, I know I have your attention — neck and crop. Half of my readers are horny scoundrels who like to pry into others’ sex lives. However, you, my dear, belong to the other half, don’t you?)

Faced with questions on virginity, many people turn into impregnable forts. It’s indeed an interesting issue. Can handwriting really bare whether a person has lost virginity or not?

I’ll give you the answer in a moment. Permit me a brief digression here. We’ll talk about a murder mystery. In a murder case, a man is arrested because prima facie it appears that he killed his wife. Now, can the handwriting of the accused uncover whether he killed his spouse? Graphology says the handwriting of a person can reveal whether he has criminal tendencies and possesses the ability to be fatally violent. It can also reveal what the accused thought of his wife or how much he loved her. But even if the science concludes that the husband hated her, it can’t tell precisely whether it was he who killed her. It’s possible that another person who harboured fiercer hatred for the woman killed her.

Similarly, handwriting can tell about a person’s sex drive and the steps or risks he or she can take to fulfil the sexual urges. It can also disclose whether one partner is sufficient for a person or he is promiscuous and wants multiple partners. Interestingly, handwriting also reveals a writer’s sexual guilt and openness to one-night stands.  But I regret to inform you dear friends that handwriting can’t reveal whether the writer is virgin or not. That’s because one may have a great deal of sexual energy, but whether one has used it or not can’t be figured out by a graphologist. So, don’t you dare pick up a magnifying glass and start looking for thin ruptures or tears in the lower part of a letter. Breaks in letters mean anything but loss of virginity. Alright? A person wants to use his sexual organ or stores it in a chemical-filled glass jar is beyond the purview of graphology. So guys, please stop sending me emails with your girlfriends’ handwriting samples to know whether… Shut up!

You might be expecting me to illustrate how to figure out the physical drive of a person. I have discussed that in the past (You like Planter’s Punch or Sex On The Beach). About promiscuity, I must tell you that just because a person has an extremely good sex drive, it does not mean that he will have no sexual morals. A person’s sense of right and wrong in any matter is seen in the upper zone in his handwriting. He can be a rock star in bed but at the same time be too choosy. So because of his fastidious nature, he will not get himself involved with just about anyone. Makes sense? In short, a person can be called promiscuous only when exaggerated sexual imagination, combined with certain traits including impulsiveness, indiscipline and lack of morality, is present in his handwriting.

(Vishwas is an India-based handwriting analyst)