Most women are attracted only to jerks,
a newspaper report said a few weeks ago. I’ll reserve my personal opinion on it for a while and recapitulate what the psychological report was all about. It said: “Women don’t go deliberately looking for a jerk. Women are not bad people at all. It’s the opposite [in most cases]. But women are completely controlled by this ancient mating instinct. Therefore, they have no other choice but to go after any strong, dominant, untamable male. Or any male who can make her feel all those intense, uncontrollable feelings she lives for. They have no other choice but to fall for these types of males who play hard to get. Women don’t really want jerks. They probably want a nice guy. But what women want and what women need are two different things. Their subconscious need is to feel and feel and feel, for which women will go uncontrollably after what they need, not what they want…”
Opinions may vary on women’s yearning for jerks, but arguably many girls burn their fingers in romantic associations, howsoever careful they think they are. They meet a guy and instantly feel they’ve known each other for many centuries. They slobber all over their boyfriends and begin feeling strongly for them. But soon, many of them get back in touch with reality; spring gets over in no time, autumn arrives before time and this is what rings in their mind: “Thank God! Now I know why we didn’t keep in touch for the past 2,000 years.”
Some girls find out the truth about their object of affection in the first few meetings and loudly scream: “Interruptus”. May Lord reward such chicks! But in the lives of many others, sanity procrastinates in coming back. Subsequently, they realise they have gone much too deep into the relationship with their dream men and return from there looks tedious and painful because there is too much emotional investment. Like tenacious and novice depositors, such women want good returns even from lame horses. As a corollary, they lose their principal money too and squander their peace of mind.
In October this year alone, four such pretty young ladies sought my appointment. (Now, you know why I pay more attention to man-woman relationships in my writings.) Anyway, ensuring their anonymity, I’ll discuss the case of one of them and leave it for you to decide whether we should take the “jerk report” with a pinch of salt.
Meet Swati. She is 24 and she works for a private bank and earns about Rs7 lakh a year. She is a looker and she comes from a respectable family. She has loads of friends who unreservedly call her a sweet, loving and caring person who is always available for her pals in need. I too have known her for about a year and I’m convinced she’s a lovely girl.
So, Miss Saccharin Swati gave me a call one evening and wanted to see me urgently. We met the next day over lunch. She told me she had been seeing a top official working for a Gujarat-based oil company for about a year and they broke up recently. Why did they part ways? Oh, nothing serious; it was over a few trivial issues: he was abusive with her, he did not respect her or her friends, made fun of her likes and dislikes and always belittled her achievements and job (he called her a boo-boo banker). There were a couple of more minor problems between them: he slapped her more often than not and exhibited high level of perversion during intimate moments. That’s it.
Swati was sick of his abuse-and-anger-followed-by-apology syndrome and cajoled her heart into agreeing to abandon him. Sanity, like most fourth grade employees, came late and when it did, she wasted no time and ejected herself out of the aircraft in turbulence.
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She showed me the guy’s handwriting and wanted me to tell her if she had taken the right decision by dumping him. How great is an Indian woman! Even after getting such a godly treatment from him, she was unable to convince herself that he indeed was a god. So you must see what this god’s handwriting looked like. (Because I don’t have the original handwriting, I present here an imitation of it.)
In picture A, look carefully at the t-bar. Do you notice a hook on the right end? This hook is indicative of misplaced anger. It means subconscious anger in this person’s life is unresolved and he tends to misplace it on people he meets. That shows he used to blow up his fuse very often with Swati for now fault of hers. The poor girl always wondered what she did to deserve those abuses. In the same picture, notice the twist in the lower zone of letter y (such y’s were predominant in his handwriting). This twist, in combination with other disorganised factors in his handwriting, reflects on his perversion in sexual imagination.
In picture B, we have similar problem in the letter ‘y’. The tail goes back to the left and stays there. That shows the writer has had issues with his physical life in the past and now most of his decisions in the present relationship are coloured by his past experiences. Such writers always subconsciously tend to compare their present partners with their past ones (whether it will be in positive or negative way is determined by the overall organisation of the handwriting sample). The inky ‘a’ in the same word in the picture shows the person is extremely sensual. It’s not a negative trait per se, but in a disorganised handwriting like this, it adds to the writer’s perversion. A few other factors in the same handwriting Swati showed me reflected that the poor girl was too cautious in saying anything to him because he used to take to heart even casual remarks and harmless jokes. (Once he became offensive just because she appreciated John Abraham for the actor’s body and asked her boyfriend to join a gym.) That was indeed quite frustrating for Swati because she was not able to speak her mind and communicate with him freely.
Similarly, in picture C, notice the variable pressure in the t-bar and its clubbed ending. When there is extra flow of ink from the pen at the end of a stroke, it becomes really dangerous because it shows that the writer is capable of being brutally violent. Also, the communication letter i.e. ‘O’ in the picture is damaged because there are multiple loops inside the oval. This particular trait shows the writer’s inclination to turn things in his favour by twisting, manipulating and misrepresenting facts.
Now, the question is why Swati stayed in this relationship for so long and how she fell for someone like him. The first answer I found in her handwriting. Because of her low opinion about herself, she thought she would not get anyone like him again. And second, the guy just knew how to get her back: he would praise her very often.
The answer to the second question was in the guy’s signature. Incidentally, one of the things signatures tells us is how a writer wants others to see him or her. In this guy’s case, the style of his signature did not tally with his overall handwriting, which indicated that there was a big difference between what he was and what he showed to others. Is it clear? That is why many partners discover a few months after meeting that the person is “no longer the way he projected himself to be in the beginning”. In other words, signature shows how a person behaves in office with his clients and his handwriting tells how he behaves at home. Don’t we all know some people in our lives who are very nice to others but awfully nasty to their own family members? Did you ever try finding out why? We’ll do it together. Some day, I will discuss how we can discover whether what he is showing is his true face or he will change after the honeymoon is over.
Now, the final words on the ‘jerk report’. Well, it’s true to some extent. If you are a woman reading this, I have a question for you: Haven’t you found that you feel painfully attracted to men who just don’t seem to understand that you like them and they ignore you all the time? Well, they may not be the best men on earth, nevertheless they have a power to attract you. They are challenging. And some women love challenges. Who are these women and how we can spot them through handwriting, I’ll tell you later.
Thanks for your time and thanks for reading till the end! I’m waiting to hear from you. Do post your comment in the space below. You may also write to me at [email protected]