The Secret to a Long Lasting Relationship – 5 Traits to Avoid

The Secret to a Long Lasting Relationship…
Avoid these 5 Key Personality Traits

For centuries, we humans have ruined wonderful relationships with silly mistakes, anger, arguments, and ill-advised words or compulsions.

We have brooded over lost loves, learned from some of our mistakes, and soiled in good relationships by not learning from our past.

In this article, we will touch on the key elements of the core compatibility issues which foster a quick demise to a loving relationship or can be the key to foster an “easy” love affair by avoiding the key traits that push your buttons and turn you into someone you don’t want to be.

The length of all relationships generally depends on the level of compatibility two individuals share. Compatibility is defined as follows:

The state of being compatible; in which two or more things are able to exist or work together in combination without problems or conflict. (telecommunications) the capability of two or more items or components of equipment or material to exist or function in the same system or environment without mutual interference. 

 

However, you might often find yourself often attracted to someone who is completely opposite in nature, different values, different emotional expressiveness, different esteem, and even different sexual preferences. Getting sexually attracted to people who are exactly our opposites is sometimes like a magnet.  Opposites attract.  It’s fine line between the ying and yang of having opposite energies but compatible personality types.

We often tend to misinterpret this attraction to be love, commitment and a lot more of those romantic ideas formed in the late 19th century. 

 You may be attracted to opposite physical attributes, opposite gender, social aptitude and so on. Such kind of “instant chemistry” relationships cause a quick spark in the beginning and the chemicals in your brain demand copulation.  Dopamine is the chemical that causes such feelings.   But, does it last over time. 

 

In a brain that people love to describe as “awash with chemicals,” one chemical always seems to stand out. Dopamine: the molecule behind all our most sinful behaviors and secret cravings. Dopamine is loveDopamine is lustDopamine is adulteryDopamine is motivationDopamine is attentionDopamine is feminismDopamine is addiction.

Once the chemical rush is past (0-6 months), the real personalities can be seen in the sober light of morning.  Never make a marriage decision when you are in the middle of a dopamine high.   Here are some scientific ways to establish long term compatibility without waiting through the six month waiting period.  

If the core traits of two individuals are similar, they tend to last longer together. The fastest way to find out about core personality trait is the USA method of Handriting Analsyis taught by Handwriting University.com

Many handwriting analysis primary traits can help you spot similarities between you and your partner. In this article, we shall put light on one core trait that will help you determine compatibility.

Emotional Expressiveness Through Handwriting Slant

This trait is strongly revealed in the direction your handwriting slants. We come across writers of various slants, the ones whose writing slants to the extreme left, some to the right, some who stand erect refusing to bend on either way and so on. There are deep hidden meanings to the slants of various handwritings.

If you and your partner, both slant to the right, you match will certainly be more cordial, warm and fuzzier, as the ones who slight right are more expressive of their emotions, both good and bad.

If one person in a relationship has straight up-down handwriting, the A-B slant as we call it, and the other slants to the right, we can say one is very grounded, head-over-heart and straight, whereas the counterpart very emotional. Sadly, such relationships with completely different slants don’t go a long haul.

   

This type of person has difficulty expressing emotions and doesn’t understand the more outgoing person’s “neediness”

This type of person will often feel ignored or lacks “connection” because they
need more affection and verbal confirmation than the “leftward slant” is capable of giving in a natural way. 

Over the years, we at the Handwriting University International have not spotted couples with different slants going into a long-term relationship as they do not have the same levels of emotional outlay, which makes it difficult to connect on the same plane.

For example, if you see an injured dog on the side road, the person with the handwriting slant to the right will have much more empathy and action for that dog than the person who slants up and down. These are the further reasons for conflict in the relationship, causing it to erode.

Expressing love is a major problem to the left-hand slant writer. Now imagine this person being in a relationship with someone whose writing slants to the right, is majorly expressive, and very emotional. The one on the left, on the contrary, likes to be aloof and detached. A marriage of the two extremes is thus not quite possible.

People with a backward slant (to the left) or straight up and down writing are less likely to say the words, “I love you.” They will tend to express their feelings nonverbally.  Their feelings remain a little more pent up. This may cause to be a communication barrier between the two.

So, if you don’t have the same slant, you might not understand each other.  You are likely to run into communication problems, and communication being the key to any relationship, having similar slants will help you speak the same language.

Sarcasm

sar·casm
?sär?kaz?m      noun
  1. the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.

    “his voice, hardened by sarcasm, could not hide his resentment”

    synonyms: derisionmockeryridiculescorn, sneering, scoffing; 

In 2005, Malcolm Gladwell published a fascinating book, Blink:  The Power of Thinking without Thinking.  It is just a little book, a fantastic read and one of my favorites.

It is about how your intuition is really smarter than you might know.

Gladwell is a psychologist and a sociologist who has researched all kinds of sociological patterns.

In this book, he talks about some interesting research studies on the key indicators of long-term relationships which last more than 7 years.  His results were surprising. 

In one study, they monitored couples communicating about an important topic for about ten minutes.  They videotaped it and measure heart rate and pulse.  They examined eye movements and ran all the data through a computer.

Using his “magic formula,” he was able to successfully predict whether a couple would be together seven years from now with 85% accuracy.  Yep.  After just watching them for ten minutes he could predict if they would be together seven years from now. 

What he noticed was that the couples who had covert hostility (sarcasm or anger) present in their conversations, when one person was more dominant than the other in a way that caused hostility, then those couples were the ones that ended up having all the negative marks on their personality report.

No matter how nice one of the members of the couple was, if the other one was hostile, angry, resentful, or even a little bit guilt-ridden, then that couple was more likely to fall into the pool of people who would end up getting divorced.

What does that teach us?

Obviously, it teaches us that if you are in a relationship with a predominant trait of hostility, anger, or annoyance…, or if one partner is uncompromising or stubborn, your chance of the relationship failing is dramatically higher than of its succeeding.

Think about that.  How would you deal with that?

Most of you reading this article, you are the nice one.  Most of you are reading books, learning about yourselves, self-improving. You are a good person. You want to be loved.  And, you want to avoid someone who is secretly going to leave, cheat on you, or somehow be hostile.

The primary handwriting traits that reveal Hostility are as follows:

Sarcasm
Resentment
Irritation
Aggressiveness or Argumentativeness (Same stroke/ different zone)
Temper

 

If you are not trained to spot these traits, see our free Trait Dictionary resource which features many of the traits listed above or purchase the 101 or 301 home study course and master them through video and home study textbooks. 

The Secret To Attracting Someone with No Hostility

The logical step is simply to AVOID dating anyone with excessive hostility.  That’s the logical way.

The more “self-evolved” way to see it might be like this.  You can change yourself to become more like the kind person you want to attract.   You’ll attract more “good people” into your life.   Like does attract like on many levels.  Or, you can continue to run people away because of your own hostility issues.  

You have to be analytical enough to spot the people who have hidden hostility traits and not start a relationship with them. This is difficult if CHEMISTRY is strong.

Stop yourself from falling in love with them and stop yourself from dating them right from the beginning.  Yes, it’s okay to ask for a handwriting sample on the first date.  In fact, most people will glady want to participate in this. 

It helps you get to know each other right away. 

That’s vital to a good relationship.

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Summary

The key to a good relationship is similarity and compatibility in personality traits.

The key to a long relationship is finding people without negative traits.

The most important aspect of a long-term relationship relates to your emotional values.

Figure out what is important to you in a relationship. What are your top five values? Know what is important to you.

Then, after you’ve successfully elicited a potential mate’s core values, look at what matches up (assuming that their handwriting does not reveal that they are a complete mess because if it does, all bets are off, and you really should not even date that person).

If you do not share at least two of the top five, then you are probably doomed.

If you find you have three of the five in common, you have a good chance.

If you have four of the top five?  Get married right now!

If you have five of the five, you’ve got a great chance for a solid, long-term relationship. This sort of a relationship is a hard find, trust me you, this one is for keeps.

 

 

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