FEATURE STORY :
Are you in Control or a Control Freak?
By D. West, Guest Writer and Certified Handwriting Expert by Handwriting University International
Franklin D. Roosevelt once said that “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.”
The irony is that most of us believe that fear protects us from harm, when the reality is that it often leads to controlling behaviors such as paranoia, narrow-mindedness and aggression.
We convince ourselves that the desire to control others is necessary to protect all, when in reality it displays a lack of faith in our own abilities to handle any situation – no matter what the outcome. The belief that fate is cruel often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, as we insist on resisting, rather than surrendering to life events.
Control freaks repeatedly suffer negative experiences, simply because they lack the belief that the universe is a good place that is constantly “on the upswing,” and therefore is naturally inclined to provide luck and opportunity as opposed to misery and threats.
Do you believe that life is inclined to flow correctly or do you think you have to control events because life flows against you?
For healthy individuals, the idea of “losing control” is actually associated with fun. Studies have shown that developing character traits such as flexibility, adaptability and optimism are concurrent with a greater incidence of good fortune in life.
Sadly, the typical control freak often achieves a public self image that is the opposite of what they are trying to achieve with their pretense of force and authority. They are often disliked by others and perceived as emotionally insecure, rather than as powerful people.
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The desire to control is based on a fear of change and a conviction that all change is negative. This outworn defense mechanism is usually left over from a childhood where the individual may have learned the fine art of over-vigilance, due to a toxic or unpredictable parent. In adult-hood “necessary protection” becomes a paralyzing and self-defeating liability, as the control freak refuses to accept a certain, ages-old cosmic law — the more we attempt to manipulate or control events, the more they seem to control or manipulate us.
Control freaks actually have less control in the end.
The sages say, “The pain is in the struggle. The more we attempt to control, the more we lose our ability to manifest success.”
Evidence of this kind of self-sabotaging struggle is indicated by certain handwriting traits:
Primary Control Traits:
Does the writing look very rigid, pretty, and just too perfect?
If so, then that person has a fear of not being perfect. Get it? If they exert that much time and precision to make the baseline straight and the letters all match – then they have a fear of things being “out of place.” In fact, this trait can lead to anxiety disorders and even what psychiatrists call compulsive disorder. Freud called this anal-retentive.
Controlling individuals are also over-concerned with detail and the way his or her writing appears on the page. Often, this is shown by making sure that each small i is capped very closely by its dot.
The writing may also express retentiveness in other ways: successive or repeated letters may be formed identically throughout the document with a particular emphasis on up and down strokes being identical. Each line of writing may appear super straight, as if a ruler underscored each line of the manuscript.
The above assessment is the “gestalt” or overall rhythm and look of the writing.
When you learn the level 5 “advanced trait stacking” method, you can identify complicated traits by stacking various strokes together. So often, a person might have control issues, even if they don’t have that one “domineering t-bar”. So, order the new DVD Advanced Course today and learn the advanced primary and stacked traits methods, read about it here
The following trait is a specific primary stroke: domineering.
A domineering personality will often cross their t‘s from left to right in a downward motion. If the t-bar is low on the stem – then you throw in low self-esteem and this compounds the insecurity.
The above primary trait is made up of two other primary traits….
Sarcasm: If the t-bar dips to the right and into the baseline
with a sharp point (sarcasm). . . watch out.
If the t-bar has a blunt ending the person is just dominant, not domineering. (domineering has negative connotations, dominant can just be a good type of control.)
An indication that you are dealing with a potential Hitler is if the t resembles a little stick figure man leaning to the side, trying to touch his right hand to his right toe. This reveals great instability and an individual that is not only his own worst enemy — he might become yours!
When it comes to dealing with your unconscious fears, “resistance really is futile.” Changing your handwriting can help you surrender those fears which lead to controlling and self-defeating behaviors that are unattractive to others and repel the kindness of fate.
Donna West -Contributing Guest Author.
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Very interesting, Donna! Especially the part about the little Hitler figure. I’ll never forget that. And the i dot–I was trying to bring my dot in line, but now I see how the extreme of that works. I would use the word “confidence” rather than “faith,” though, as faith is belief without evidence. We need not have faith in causality because we have a great deal of evidence for it. A negative view filters this evidence out of the picture. My handwriting certification course is still in the box, but this motivates me to get started on it. Thanks!