It’s not a child’s play, baby

By Vishwas Heathcliff

Guys, let’s start with some maths today. Don’t run away! It’s easy. Ready? Here is the question: How many rotten tomatoes and putrid eggs will a girl throw at me if I call her unattractive just because I saw that the nail in the little finger of her left foot is twisted and half-broken?

I know this one was tough. However, my guess is that the garbage generously bestowed on me will be enough to make at least 100 litres of sauce and 400 omelettes in the decrepit dhaba near my house.

My tribulation isn’t likely to end here. If the girl is even remotely similar to Rakhi Sawant, she, with a knife in her hand, will chase me so fast that I, looking like a burnt aubergine, will reach Islamabad in 30 minutes. Sharp. (Your second question: Please figure out the KMPH).

Levity apart, you’ll agree that I’d deserve the assault, as my approach to judge the girl’s looks is wrong: I should have carefully scanned her other features before calling her unattractive.

childexpertSimilarly, in graphology, it’s inappropriate to conclude about one’s personality just by taking into account a few strokes in one’s handwriting. However, some people attempt to do that. My earnest request: please don’t do that. It trivialises the science. It’s not a child’s play. I do discuss individual letters and traits in my articles on this website, but while analysing handwriting, many other factors such as slant, connection, size, margins, pressure and spacing are also taken into account. Before a graphologist concludes about a person, a handwriting sample must exhibit several traits that mean the same thing. Or else, chances are the analyst will go wrong.

Come, I’ll tell you a story. A few months ago, an adorable friend of mine (I’ll call her Anu) approached me with the handwriting sample of a guy she liked. She dabbled in graphology and had concluded that the object of her affection is an “intellectual” with whom she would gel well. When I saw it, I realised Anu did not examine its other aspects that revealed that the guy was highly domineering, extremely critical, awfully temperamental and had hidden anger against women. You tell me now: do you need to have 1,000 hours of flying experience over Bhatinda to understand that my darling pal was going to be in a mess?

The bottom line: graphology must be learned one trait at a time, but it works only when applied as whole.

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One of the fallacies about graphology is that it can foretell the future. In a letter to me, a businessman wrote that he is studying astrology and wishes to become an astrologer. He wanted me to predict whether he’d succeed as an astrologer. My answer: Sir, graphology can’t foretell future that, but it can surely tell you many other things such as your present, past, overall personality, mental state, intelligence, sexual issues and relations with spouse. Interested?


Handwriting analysis can help you choose a right career. It can identify your problem areas, most of which you can overcome through graphotherapy. Additionally, the science enables you to understand your partner well and know how to avoid friction in your marital lives. Also, using graphology you can know whether the person you are dating will dovetail into your temperamental grooves. Interestingly, graphology can also tell from the handwriting of a pregnant woman whether she will give birth to a boy or a girl.

If you have any query, just leave it in the comment box below and come back later to get your reply.

(Vishwas is a handwriting analyst based in Mumbai, India)

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