Virgin Mary or Sex on the Beach?

VISHWAS HEATHCLIFF

Ok… This piece is on popular demand. Many people wanted me to write about this because I have not touched upon this subject so far. So, I promise you that this read is going to be fresh ’n’ new, lively, refreshing, stimulating, invigorating, revitalising… Ladies and gentlemen, this post is on sex, lies (read sex) and videotapes (I actually mean sex). Hehe!!! So dudes, please smile. Prudes, please walk a mile.

As a handwriting analyst, I frequently encounter few queries like these: Can graphology tell us about the sex drive of a person? Can the science also indicate how my partner will perform? Through graphology, is it possible to determine how sexually imaginative my partner is?

The answer is yes. In fact, my Calcutta-based graphology teacher Mr Mohan Bose once remarked: “Handwriting can also indicate how many partner one desires in one’s life .”

Let’s hit the floor now (forgive the pun). The clues to an individual’s sex life lie in the loops of the lower zone of his handwriting (y, g & j). These three letters indicate how much sex an individual needs and how often he wants his physical desires met. The strokes in the lower-zone letters also reflect the degree of a writer’s sexual frustration — an upshot of the gap between the individual’s needs and their fulfilment.

A strong sex drive is shown by long and moderately wide lower loops that penetrate into the lower zone with heavy pen pressure (pic 1). Such a writer gets bored easily and needs a great deal of variety in life. The physical drives are strong and the person is sexually extremely imaginative. The width of the loop indicates the quantum of emotional involvement in sex.

On the other hand, if the lower zones are small or truncated and they lack pressure (pic 2), you have an individual who does not involve herself in too much physical activities including sex. Such people just detest physical exertion and show disinterest in sex because the act needs immense involvement at physical and emotional level.

Now, put together these two kinds of people in a marriage. What do you think will happen? There will be drought and famine in the bedroom and they will an award for being the occupants of the neatest and crispiest couch. Seriously speaking, the relationship will engender frustration in the partner who is more sexually demanding.

Two years ago, my friend Akash, who has a healthy sex drive, married a girl selected by his parents. Recently when I met him, I saw problem in the lower zone of his handwriting: the loops in his y’s and g’s were incomplete (pic 5). It indicated that he was facing problem in his sexual life. He confided in me that his wife, who is an extremely caring and lovely person, has not been able to fulfil his sexual needs.

Hence, Mr Tom, Mr Dick and Mr Harry, if your favourite pastime is watching TV with packets of potato wafers and surfing internet (meaning physical laziness shown by small and weak lower zones), please don’t get involved with women who would always dream of “tearing you apart” in bed (strong sex drive). Or else, you’ll find yourself gasping all the time and spending half your salary on buying Red Bull.

By the way, what do you think will happen if both the partners’ lower zones look like the handwriting sample in pic 1? Ooh La La…

Incidentally, when graphologists do compatibility test between two individuals, the shape and size of the lower zones of handwriting are taken into account. (The other features of handwriting, which need to match for a perfect compatibility, include size, slant, pressure and zones. We’ll talk about them later.)

Between the two extremes, we have individuals whose sex drive is moderate and their physical energy is evenly allocated to other needs of life. Such a writer’s lower zones (y’s and g’s in pic 3) are controlled: they don’t go too deep and their loops are normal, as opposed to inflated. Such an individual has so much control that she or he can stay without sex even for weeks or have it even thrice a day! Such writers, if combined with other positive strokes in handwriting, can prove to be an excellent partner.

Finally, we’ll talk about people who are all gas, but they frequently talk of their sexual exploits. Meet such a person in pic 4. They are the people who brag about themselves. But when it’s time to perform, they just go phis-phis. They like to be known as I-have-been-there-done-that guys. I call them I-will-come-soon guys. The inflated loops in their handwriting reflect excessive imagination, which leaves them with no energy to perform. By the way, they are the people who want more than one partner. They do that because though they are unsure of their ability to perform, they don’t want to accept the truth. And partner-hopping boosts their self-esteem and they feel good about it. And who does not want to feel good?

But before you begin to believe you have become super graphologist, let me warn you here: please DO NOT conclude about a person’s personal life just on the basis of one indicator in handwriting. An individual’s entire handwriting is taken into account before listing the traits. Therefore the disclaimer is: the strokes I have discussed above are indicative, not absolute.

Do punch in your comments on this post and let me know how it could be improved. For suggestions, write to [email protected]

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