Is the Trait of Stubborn a Personality Trait of a Hero or a Whiny Little Spoiled Child?

Stubbornness is not a good trait.

People think it’s a good trait because they confuse suborn with the idea of persistence.

They say, “Oh, I’m just persistent.  I hold on to my beliefs. But that’s not stubbornness.”

Those people are not correct.  Persistence is similar to determination. Determination is overcoming struggles on a quest that is aligned with your core values.

Stubbornness is more like a whiney child sitting in the aisle of the grocery store screaming. You don’t want to be stubborn. It is a defense mechanism. It’s a fear of being wrong.

And it’s an inability to accept the consequences of, “What if I am wrong?”

And that’s the question… are you wrong? Can you handle being wrong?

Or, do you just stick your heels in the mud and decide, “Dammit, I refuse to be wrong, I’m going to stick to my guns, even if your guns are pointed in the wrong direction.”

 So in the textbooks of handwriting analysis, it is shown in pretty simple way in just one letter.

A Stubborn shaped t-stem look like a pyramid.  The two strokes make wide base, and there is never a loop in the stem.

That’s stubbornness, a lack of space, a lack of openness… minus a lack of sensitivity to the opinions of others.

And on the other side of the equation, a person with a large loop has an excessive tendency to care too much about what others think; sensitivity to criticism. I also believe this is not a trait that most people will want to possess for maximum happiness and social intelligence.

This is also a common personality trait that our grapho-therapist help remove and reduce through rerouting the neuro-pathway in grapho-therapy.

So what do you want to be sensitive or stubborn?

I don’t suggest either.

I would suggest that you narrow down the loops and the lowercase d-stem and t-stem.

Grapho-therapy, which is one effective way to handle stubbornness in just a 10 minutes a day.

Having self-awareness and monitoring your internal dialogue is another method, but grapho-therapy is faster and more effective. And secondly, don’t increase the loop in the stem of a ‘d’ or ‘t’. That can lead to paranoia or total social anxiety about needing the approval of people around you.


You don’t want either trait if you want to be in a happy relationship.

And that’s just one trait among 100 personality traits found in our Certification Level Handwriting Analysis system.  Not all traits you read or see on the internet are true. So, be mindful of watching videos or reading books that have not been approved by Handwriting University.  One incorrect trait often spoils the science for the rest of us and makes non-believers out of people who could otherwise have benefited from the insight it brings.  

There are plenty of other ways to manage your cognitive psychology, but this one is simple and effective.

Realize when you’re being confronted with someone saying, “Hey, listen, you’re being stubborn.”  Perhaps they are correct.

 Are you being stubborn?

Because you have a fear of being wrong?

Or are you responding with poise and logic? You might say “Look here.  I know my core values. I know the obstacles in my way.  I am very clear what’s right and wrong for me. I know what’s best for me and my family. I am not being stubborn, I have chosen this path with a clear mind.”

And despite all those people complaining and trying to manipulate you… you hold steady to your goal. If you find yourself saying, “I’m going to take this path. I am not quitting going in this direction.  Join me or go your own way.” That is a leadership statement. You can call that person a hero. You can call that person a martyr. You can present as the classic movie star rebel, or you can just keep going silently.

History is written by the victors.   Many of those men and women were stubborn, arrogant, ignorant, and perhaps even brutal. So, one cannot say those traits don’t have a place in war or leadership.  However, if you are not fighting a war with your spouse, then leave stubbornness out of your relationships.

Some of the people confuse the trait of being incredibly persistent and righteous as the same thing. It is not. 

The American Revolution or some other revolution seems to be an effective strategy (in hind site). Just because one side won, does not mean that side was right, righteous, or correct. 

If you look back before 1776, refusing to pay additional taxes for tea to England might be considered stubborn at the time.  However, one could argue, that was a tipping point based on an underlying moral compass… which had truly devastating and remarkable consequences.

Again, don’t confuse politics or war with your own personal relationships.

That’s the thing about stubbornness and sensitive criticism ( and other fears and defenses), they are both judged as part of a bigger system (context).

 When I play the role of a mental fitness trainer, my job is to bring these ideas into context and make sure they are aligned with a person’s core values.  Then, we can determine which path is most appropriate for that person.

Ideally, you want to be able to reduce your own stubbornness and replace the emotion of defensive with a more logical approach to continuing on a specific path.

You must learn to use a logic-based decision-making process that increases your ability to choose actions that are aligned with what values are most important to your life and your ideal outcome.

Most people don’t want to be considered stubborn.

Nobody likes anyone stubborn.

Very few people like anyone with a high number of traits that cause friction and tension. There is a word for that. Asshole.  You can’t call a little kid screaming in the store a “little asshole.”

But, if the shoe fits.

There’s a whole list of negative traits. In my first book, I called them “HELL TRAITS”.  Stubbornness is one of ten or more traits I find annoying in people. I think stubbornness is the one thing that will stop people from making improvements in their own life because it’s like an emergency brake left on inside your brain.

You cannot drive a car fast with the emergency brake on. Stubbornness is the emergency brake of your unconscious mind.  It protects you from making progress.

It keeps you stuck.

So if you are working with other people as their leader, coach, or mental fitness trainer.

If you’re working with clients working or just being your own life coach, I would reduce stubbornness in order to other parts of your unconscious mind can change. If you want more personal attention about how to transform your life, visit the Mental Fitness Community and join the PRISM Life Design Live weekly classes.  You will learn tools that can make your life easier and fun and profitable with a community of people who are designing their life with intention.

Till the next post.

Bart Baggett

Author of the Success Secrets of the Rich and Happy and The Magic Question.

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