Sonovaabiktch! My favourite cuss word. That’s the expletive I use and misuse the most. I rarely skip an opportunity to let this extraordinary combination of letters zip through my lips. The cadence of this combined-for-convenience chain is musical and it ends with a powerful screeching thrust — quite masculine, I would say. However, sometimes I misuse it and squander away the scrumptious string on people for whom I should be using slimier words of the same family, such as… Ahem! Leave it. Let’s not get abusive here.
The way I misuse the musical combination at times, several people abuse the word “cool” when they indiscriminately say, “She/he is soooo coooool!”, thereby giving birth to plenty of icebergs around us. Not that I catch cold when I realise I am surrounded by a pool of “cool” fools, but I think that the application of this word is inappropriate more often than not. How can someone who just appears cool can be called cool. In most cases, “cool” is misused. I’m not saying most people have got their semantics wrong; it’s just that they are too lazy to look for a better term to qualify some traits and therefore make the word overwork.
So, who is cool? Mr James who wears Hilfiger t-shirt, Gucci perfume, Nike cap and always drives sports bikes? Not necessarily. Then it must be the cad who uses oral muscles to the fullest when he proclaims, “Aaaama keeewwl guaaye, beibayh!” (Ouch! That really twisted my facial muscles.) Is the cad “cool”? I don’t know and I ain’t sure about you either. So, let’s pick on someone who is famous. How about Aamir Khan? He has been referred to as a “kewl” guy. But is he really “cool”? We’ll find out.
Just before we get there, I want to tell you why I have chosen to talk about people who are really cool. They add fun to our lives because in their company, we can be ourselves. They make us feel comfortable and we open up. Such people help us improve upon our spontaneity. While dealing with them, we don’t feel like walking on eggshells.
For this article, Aamir Khan is our guinea pig because we all at least know the actor and we call him “cool”. So, let’s talk about what will happen if Aamir is a part of our personal lives and becomes our friend, partner or lover. Heck, do I need to tell you that you will become a celebrity? Secondly, you will have lots of money. And third, your personal life will be a little messy because you will soon know that the actor is actually not as “cool” as you thought he is.
See his handwriting. Notice the loops in t’s and d’s. These loops are indicative of extreme sensitivity. Such a person gets hurt easily. That’s what I mean by walking on eggshells. With a friend, partner or lover like him, you will always have to be very very very cautious about the words you use. Without risking a nice evening or an entire day, you cannot tell him that his opinion on certain things are wrong or the way he does things need improvement. Over every negative comment, he will get defensive and would enter into an argument. Use of even one careless word would hurt him badly. This carefulness would hack your spontaneity and even if you have something very important to tell him, you will not be sure whether you should because you don’t know how he would react. So, you will think it’s more sensible to dissemble your feelings. The situation won’t be that easy. If he gets to know you had hidden something, he will get mad at you, scream, shout… Because of his sensitivity, an interpersonal relationship cannot be possible without plenty of bruises. So, it’s really gonna be tricky. You will have to approve of every thing he does. If you don’t be ready to fight. Is that cool?
For me, a cool person (it’s not a definition, ok?) is someone with whom I don’t have to be too careful about what I say; I don’t need to dilute every word I use. A cool person is someone you can crack jokes with and even if you crack jokes on him, he should not feel bad. But if the person I am dealing with has a loopy writing (like Aamir’s), he may not protest immediately if you ridicule him, but he will get back at you later. Definitely. Mostly when you least expect it. A healthy relationship is when you can agree and disagree with your partner without compromising on your own individuality, opinion and stand.
Let me tell you a small story to illustrate the point. I have a friend whose height is about 5 feet. By normal standards, he can be called short and he was very conscious of his low height. Anyone who made him feel small about himself would fill him with utter resentment. Everyone is our friend circle knew that, but there was this funny girl who would just not stop messing with him. She used to call him teeny-weeny. My friend felt extremely bad. He never told her that, but he used to share his feelings with me. The girl was not a vicious person; she was a little bindaas, carefree and outspoken. I knew she did not want to demean him by calling him teeny-weeny. I told him not to take her comments so seriously. But he would retort, saying I was being callous because she never said anything to me.
Soon, that day came. At that time, I used to be lanky. So one day when both of us walked into a small restaurant where our gang of friends was meeting, she said in a rather loud voice: “Here come Mr Teeny-Weeny and his friend Mr Tall Tree.” I smiled and without wasting a moment shot back: “How about spending a night under me, birdie? You can stand there all night and if you like, we may choose to call it a one-night stand.” History is evident she never forgot my name after that.
Well, as far as I know, my retort did not emanate from any resentment. She said something, I said something. That’s it. I do not mind what people think of the way I look. But my friend was very sensitive about his looks, which was reflected by the loops in his d’s. He would appear “cool” because he never protested. He never got into arguments. But though he seemed cool to others, he was like a furnace inside, burning himself every moment, waiting for the right time to hit back. That ain’t cool. No way.
By now, many people who are reading this would have realised they have loops in their d’s and t’s. Well, my attempt here is not to villify them. They can be great friends and I can vouch for it. But their desire for a stable and peaceful relationship is driven by their need for praise and approval. They are terribly hurt people. They are wounded by people around them. Their sensitivity is just a defence mechanism. If you have loops in the two letters, take them out. The removal will make you feel better like nothing else. It will make you stop being sensitive to negative comments.